


Umm... My name?

by MerthurxCullen



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Happy Ending, Implied Mpreg, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-11
Updated: 2018-09-11
Packaged: 2019-07-11 05:01:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15965249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MerthurxCullen/pseuds/MerthurxCullen
Summary: Merlin has always feared the day he would meet his soulmate, Arthur on the other hand has wanted nothing more than to meet the name on his wrist.





	Umm... My name?

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone, I know I haven’t written anything in a while unfortunately my muse disappeared ☹️ 
> 
> I do hope you enjoy this story and please don’t forget to comment

Merlin’s soulmate mark first appeared when he was 5 years old, he had stared at his once blank wrist in wonder as a dragon appeared and slowly opened its curled wings to reveal the name of the other part of his soul. He had spent days asking his parents question after question about his mark and what his soulmate could be like. 

 

He couldn’t wait to meet his soulmate until his life took a terrible turn that changed how Merlin saw meeting your one true love and his excitement soon turned to dread and fear. 

 

Merlin had loved his parents with all his heart, he had hoped to have a love like theirs when he found his soulmate but soon after he had turned eighteen he watched as his mother’s heart broke at the news that her husband had passed away, he had to watch as his mother gave up on everything, gave up on life, gave up on living and finally gave up on him. Merlin had tried to make sure she ate that she was well looked after but sadly nothing Merlin did could help save his mother and all to soon she was gone. 

 

The doctors said it was unavoidable that no one lives long after their soulmate died and as Merlin buried his mother next to his father he swore to never meet or find his soulmate. 

 

He would rather live a life of loneliness then die at the hands of his soulmate.

 

When Merlin started college he kept his mark covered up never wanting to run the risk of someone seeing it, of them somehow knowing who it belonged to.

 

It was in his senior year when Merlin’s life started to move towards his soulmate and the happy ending he was always destined for but the road to true never did run smooth.

 

Merlin’s best friend, Gwen, had managed to drag him away from his books to go to a party being thrown by the new girl Morgana le Fay. 

 

If Merlin knew his life would change that night he would of found some excuse to stay home and hide. 

 

It didn’t take Merlin long to find an empty corner to hide and enjoy the beer he managed to grab without having to interact with anyone and pulled out the book he had stashed away in his coat pocket.  

 

He had just finished the chapter when someone clears their throat. “Having fun?” 

 

Looking up Merlin found himself staring into deep blue eyes and a handsome face.

 

Putting his book back in his pocket Merlin smiled “yeah, it’s a good party”

 

“My sister does know how to throw a party but you seemed to be quite happy there reading.” Blue eyes smiled before sitting down next to him. “I’m Arthur Pendragon by the way” 

 

Merlin’s blood ran cold in his veins as he studied the man before him, this was his soulmate, the one person that will destroy him. 

 

“And you are?” Arthur asked with a soft smile

 

“My name...umm...Colin, yeah that’s it. My name is Colin.” Merlin rushed out as he stood up.

 

“You don’t sound so sure” Arthur said with a confused expression

 

“No No my names Colin. Lovely party must dash.” Merlin said as he ran out of the house.

 

Arthur watched bewildered as the cute skinny nerd ran from him as if a hellhound was hot on his heels.

 

“Weird little guy” Arthur whispered 

 

“Arthur you won’t believe the name of Gwen’s best friend” Morgana half yelled as she made her way over to him.

 

“Who’s Gwen?” Arthur asked as he took the beer off his sister as she swayed side to side. “How many have you had?”

 

“Three I think.” Morgana giggled “Gwen is my new best best friend and her friend is called ... wanna know? I bet you do, you won’t believe it, your never guess.” She laughed as she moved forwards and almost fell over. 

 

Arthur laughed as he helped her to sit down. “Okay Mrs can’t hold my liquor who is Gwen's friend?”

 

“Merlin something....Emrys...something” Morgana laughed as she leaned into her brother. “Your soulmate is here right now.”

 

“Really? I wonder if I’ve meet him yet.” Arthur said as his eyes moved back to the front door. 

 

“He’s a cute nerd, Gwen said he’ll be the only one reading.” Morgana giggled as her eyes started to drop “He’s going to stand out.” She whispered

 

“Thanks Mor, I’ll keep my eye open for him.” Arthur replied as he looked down to find his sister fast asleep her head resting on his shoulder.

 

“I’ll find you Colin or should I say Merlin.” Arthur smiled

 

Later that evening Merlin sat on his bed panicking about what he was going to do about Arthur Pendragon, he couldn’t afford to cement their bond, it wasn’t worth the risk. 

 

Merlin hadn’t slept at all that night his mind to busy thinking about how his life was going to change. Slowly Merlin walked into his first class of the day, half asleep as he took his seat. 

 

“Good morning Colin,right?” 

 

Carefully Merlin turned his head to see Arthur Pendragon sitting next to him, Merlin’s eyes widened in shock before filling with fear.

 

“Ri...right.” Merlin whispered 

 

“You still sure it’s Colin?” Arthur asked with a raised eyebrow 

 

“Y..yep” Merlin nodded 

 

“Mr Emrys is everything okay?” The professor asked as she looked between him and Arthur

 

“N..No...ummm...” Merlin took a shaky breath as he started to feel like he couldn’t breath at all.

 

“Are you sure Mr Emrys your looking very pale.” The Professor said concerned about one of her best students 

 

“Merlin?” Arthur asked as he placed a hand on Merlin’s arm

 

Merlin jumped as their skin connected “Don’t touch me” he screamed just as his version started to darken

 

Arthur watched in horror as his soulmate’s eyes rolled back just as he collapsed right before Arthur’s eyes

 

Quickly Arthur moved to catch Merlin before he could hit the fall and hurt himself, holding Merlin in his arms felt right, as if he had always been there but Arthur couldn’t stop himself from worrying about the other man's reaction 

 

An hour later and Arthur found himself still waiting for Merlin to wake up as he sat in the nurse's office holding his hand.

 

“Is he okay?” Arthur turned to see who had spoken and a soft smile graced his face as he found Gwen staring worriedly at her best friend 

 

“The nurse said he’s going to be okay.” Arthur whispered as he ran his thumb over Merlin’s hand

 

“He has always feared this day.” Gwen replied as she pulled up a chair on the other side of Merlin’s resting form

 

“Why? Everyone looks forward to finding their soulmate.” Arthur asked

 

“He use to buy that was before he lost his parents, he’s dad passed away and well I’m sure you can fill in the rest.” Gwen informed him

 

“Oh...” Arthur gasped as he looked over at the man he was already coming to care for.

 

“He did everything he could to keep her alive but in the end she couldn’t live with the heart break. From that moment he’s feared sharing their fate.” She whispered sadly

 

Slowly Arthur let go of Merlin’s hand and stood up “I guess I should leave, umm can you tell him he won’t have to worry about me.” 

 

“Your going to leave him?” Gwen asked shocked

 

“He doesn’t want this so why should I Force it on him.” Arthur looked down at Merlin’s sleeping form

 

“You’re a sweet guy Arthur.” She smiled

 

“If he wants this... he needs to come to me. I’m not going to make him do anything he doesn’t want to.” Arthur said as he walked out of the room leaving his life line behind

 

“Oh Merlin, sweetie you can’t just let him go.” Gwen whispered 

 

“Who are you talking to?” Merlin muttered as he opened his eyes 

 

“Arthur, he’s been sitting with you since he brought you to the nurses office.” Gwen said as she took his hand in hers

 

“Arthur? He was here?” Merlin blinked as he looked around 

 

“He just left, he doesn’t want you to feel forced into doing something your not comfortable with.” Gwen replied.

 

“You told him?” Merlin whispered 

 

“He needed to know why your pulling away from him before you’re given him a chance.” Gwen smiled sadly “Merlin, sweetie he’s your soulmate and some of us are still waiting and your throwing yours away.” 

 

“I won’t let him...I can’t...” Merlin muttered turning away from His best friend 

 

“You can’t live like this. You need to let yourself be happy. What would your parents want for you? Your mum? Please you can’t live like this.” Gwen told him

 

Merlin closed his eyes tight as they started to swell up with tears. He knew they would want him to be happy, his mother had always told him she wanted him to find his true love, they use to spend many evenings talking about what his soulmate would be like, what his life would one day be like. But his parents had always been in the picture back then now he was all alone.

 

It took Merlin four days before he finally worked up enough courage to knock on Arthur Pendragon’s door

 

Arthur smiled when he opened the door to find Merlin standing there looking a little lost, it took every inch of his willpower not to pull Merlin into his arms. “Would you like to come in?” 

 

Merlin nodded as he stepped passed Arthur and into his apartment

 

“Do you want a drink?” Arthur asked as he closed the door, he was unsure of what to do, afraid he might say or do something wrong and Merlin would leave. 

 

“Can we just sit and...talk?” Merlin asked

 

“Sure, let’s go into the living room.” Arthur Sian’s as he lead the way door the hall.

 

An uncomfortable silence passed over them as they sat down.

 

“How have you been?” Arthur asked as he watched Merlin.

 

“Okay...I guess. I’ve started seeing someone to help me with...this. Merlin started “turns out it’s common for children like me to fear finding their soulmate. He’s helping me to move forwards.” 

 

“That’s great.” Arthur smiled so bright it could be seen through his eyes. 

 

“I don’t want to be alone Arthur, they wouldn’t want me to be alone but I don’t want to end up like... she used to be so full of life.” Merlin whispered

 

“You don’t know what the future holds Merlin, no one does. You can’t deny yourself a chance at being happy because your afraid one of us is going to die.” Arthur replied softly taking Merlin’s hand in his.

 

“And I’m working on being not afraid, I want to get to know you Arthur” Merlin smiled as he looked down at their joint hands

 

“I haven’t be able to stop thinking about you, worrying about you. I’m glad your getting some help.” Arthur said “Maybe I could come with you sometime for most support.”

 

“That would be nice, Gaius has been asking me about you and how I feel at my soul mark.” Merlin replied softly 

 

“Gaius? Gaius Norman?” Arthur asks shocked 

 

“Yeah, he’s been a great help.” Merlin nodded 

 

“He knows what he’s talking about, my dad is one of his oldest friends. Gaius’s story is similar to your own.” Arthur informed with a smile “your in great hands with him.”

 

Merlin smiled “he lost his parents just like me and now heya world expert in his field. I’m thinking of switching Majors“ 

 

Arthur smiled “you thinking of becoming a psychologist?”

 

“Yeah, I want to help people like me, show them they don’t need to fear finding that person.” Merlin answered 

 

“Then Gaius would be a great teacher and mentor.” Arthur said softly “so if I asked you out on a date what would you say?”

 

Merlin smiled “I would like that. So my answer would be yes.”

 

“Well then clear your schedule because this Friday I’m taking you on a date and woo your pants off.” Arthur smirked 

 

“Really?” Merlin raised an eyebrow “you think your going to get into my pants so fast?”

 

“Well I am the king of charm” Arthur winked

 

Merlin laughed “You’re such a prat.”

 

“It’s been said, but I’m your part for all times.” Arthur chuckled 

 

“Then I guess I’ll just have to keep calling you a prat.” Merlin said as he leaned against Arthur “why don’t you put the telly on.” 

 

“Sure” Arthur smiled as he picked up the remote and turned the telly on, Arthur wrapped his arms around Merlin as they cuddled on the couch to watch a movie.

 

The weeks that followed Arthur and Merlin’s relationship moved forwards at a nice pace letting their feelings and their bond grow with every second they were together

 

Arthur had gone with Merlin to a few of his counselling sessions to help him understand just what his boyfriend was going through. He was also able to learn a few coping techniques to help their relationship and Merlin when he has his down days. 

 

One said down day was when Merlin meet Arthur’s parents, he had gone quiet for the entire evening before bursting into tears scaring both Uther and Ygraine. After that Merlin was Reluctant to visit the Pendragon household even though Ygraine was determined to comfort the young man and wouldn’t give up until she could hug him without Merlin crying.

 

It was an uphill battle for Merlin he wasn’t used to having people care about him or having a mother figure back in his life or a father for that matter it took some time to get use to it. He still had his good days and his bad days but with Arthur and Gaius he was able to build a good support system for himself.

 

**6 years later**

 

Arthur smiled as he watched his husband rock their infant son to asleep, he couldn’t believe how far his beloved had come since that night so many years ago

 

They almost never made it to this point, about 2 years ago Arthur had been driving back to their appointments when he was hit by a drunk driver running a red light and sending his car into oncoming traffic. He had been in surgery for hours while Merlin sat in the waiting room panicking. 

 

Merlin had gotten himself so worked up that a nearby doctor had to sedate him for his own safety. 

 

The whole thing had set Merlin back and once again he was petrified of being close to Arthur so much so that he never once visited Arthur while he was in recovery. Merlin never once asked how he was doing and would always change the subject when someone started to ask about Arthur.

 

Things didn’t change after Arthur had come home from hospital Merlin floated around the apartment never once staying in the same room as Arthur.

 

One day Ygraine showed up and convinced Merlin to go and see Gaius again, she had even gone with him just to make sure. Sadly the set back had Merlin moving out of their home and it put their relationship right back to square one

 

Even though Arthur was hurt by Merlin’s distance, by the lack of comfort and support from his soulmate he understood just how much Merlin had feared something like this happening and how much this had cost Merlin. 

 

It had taken them a year to get back to the point where they could live together and even then it was still difficult for both of them, they loved each that was never in question or doubted but they worked harder to strengthen their relationship together with they help of Gaius.

 

Merlin had continued to see Gaius twice a week but was also opening up to Arthur about what had been going through his head during Arthur’s accident and how Merlin could feel Arthur fighting for his life and their connection weakening and wonder if that way how his mother felt, if she had felt the exact moment his father's soul is no longer attached to this earth. 

 

Arthur had taken to being more careful when out and Merlin was finally able to open his own practice.

 

By the end of the second he since the accident Arthur and Merlin were happily engaged and planning a long and happy life together.

 

Shaking his head out of the past Arthur walked over to his husband and wrapped his arms around the other man's waist and looked down at their son. 

 

“One day he is going to break some hearts.” Arthur said as he rested his chin on Merlin’s shoulder 

 

“As long as he grows to look forward to that day where he meets his mark I’ll be happy.” Merlin replied softly 

 

“How many more years will it take for you to stop worrying?” He asked as he turned his head and kissed Merlin’s neck.

 

“I’m a parent it’s my job to worry.” Merlin smiled 

 

“Why don’t you put Matthew down and follow me to our room.” Arthur whispered as he kissed just under Merlin’s ear

 

“The doctor hasn’t cleared me for that just yet Arthur, it’s only been 3 months.” Merlin laughed 

 

“I can’t wait 3 more months to have you Merlin, I love you.” Arthur smiled “we can just make out like teenagers, you know over the covers stuff.”

 

Merlin laughed as he pulled away from Arthur to put their son back into his crib “Your going to be worse then the baby aren’t you?”

 

“Come on let me run us a bath and then we can get an early night before Marty wants another feeding.” Arthur replied as he took Merlin’s hand and lead him out of the nursery 

 

“Can we just go to bed and cuddle?” Merlin asked

 

“Sure beloved anything for you.” Arthur smiled as they walked towards their room and over to their bed

 

“I’m so happy that I found you and that you were able to accept my fears in the beginning.” Merlin said as he lay down on their bed, Arthur smiled as he pulled Merlin into his arms

 

“Please I didn’t stand a chance Colin.” Arthur laughed “I loved you the moment you rushed out that door.”

 

Merlin smiled as he rest his head on Arthur chest and listened to his heart beat “I love you Arthur so much that I .... I understand why she couldn’t live past losing him because even though we came close I knew if I lost you I lost me.” 

 

“That’s never going to happen, one day you and me are going to be sitting side by side in our rocking chairs yelling sweet nothings at each other because our hearing aids don’t work. Matty and his siblings... yes Merlin we’re going to have a few more kids... their come visit and bring the whole family: wives, husband, kids and grandkids and we’re going to bore them all with our love story.” Arthur informed Merlin as he kissed the other man's forehead “I love you Merlin and I’m looking forward to growing old and senile with you.”

 

“Sounds like a wonderful life. I look forward to living it with you.” Merlin smiled as he leaned up and kissed Arthur deeply as he hands runs down to Arthur’s zipper 

 

“We still have 3 months sweetheart.”Arthur moaned

 

“Let’s not wait anymore, we've wasted so much time already.” Merlin said as he gripped Arthur’s member.

 

“You always know just what to say.” Arthur smiled as he flipped them over and kissed Merlin. “Let’s getting working on our forever”

 

“Forever isn’t long enough.” Merlin smiled.

 

**The end**

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thank you all for reading my story, I do hope you enjoyed it and hopefully I’ll get my inspiration back and posting more. 
> 
> Please don’t forget to comment


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